This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
