Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
