Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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