Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize