Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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