is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
