Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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