I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
