Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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