I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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