3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
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