woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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