Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize