you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
