There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
