Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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