drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize