So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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