It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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