I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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