best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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