I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
you made out with another girl for some wings
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
