Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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