can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
