i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize