omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
