**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
