i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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