This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
