I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
