I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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