I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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