He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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