bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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