i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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