his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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