I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
