Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
