lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize