i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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