don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
