I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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