3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is that strawberry winking at me??
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
