It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
