We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
