Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
not ubering you a puppy
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
