i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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