I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize