don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
