If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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