Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
