I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
