My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
