An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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