apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
