we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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