matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
