Sry I called you an 8
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
