You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
