We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Randomize
