when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize