thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Randomize
