the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
